sex gone down hill.

it’s not enough to be an atheist or
Christian when I disagree with it’s history:

its knowing my dreams and the spirits I’ve seen,
the questions still remains,

the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of creation,
‘is there life out there?’
‘I’m the only one in existence?’
and if so, there won’t be any
cross species mating rituals.

humankind: most boring sex object in the Universes.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!


Life Raft

“There wasn’t much time.

I had foolishly thrown myself out the airlock, and it was not like I planned an escape.  It was either leave now  or forever be consumed by the ship.

And to make matters more interesting, I’ve lost my communicator, so I’m using the basic one that came with the raft….”





Hi guys!

I’m Eugene Hardy, and I currently reside in San Diego(?)
First some good news, I managed to find employment and I start sometime next week.  So now my only problem is finding somekind of shelter beyond sleeping under a tree.

Because when you sleep under a tree, especially at night, you find that interesting things walk about at night.

No, I’m not talking about animals with fur and four legs, (although I did see the odd cat stalking about.  I wonder what it hunts), but men hunting for sex and drugs, (after 11 pm in Balboa Park, I rarely see women).

But I have seen men smoking crystal meth, and it makes me cry thinking about it.  Because I can also clearly see that this drug means them no good.  In mannerisms its similar to crack cocaine, that they search the ground, with flashlights, trying to find rocks to smoke that likely do not exist.  They walk like zombies with jerky movements, without straight lines.  (And, what ever you do, don’t loan out your pen!).

I have been on the streets for nearly thirteen days….

Some of that time was spent in a bathhouse called Club San Diego.  Plenty of sex there, even when I didn’t want any, but only some time anyway from streets and Balboa Park.  But to be honest I rarely slept, but it was cheap sheltor away from rains that has soaked my belongings for three days straight.

Although, I think the bathhouse The Body Zone was better, they both have something in common: A third of their club members don’t like guys who are hiv+.

And I can’t blame them, not one bit.  HIV/AIDS is likely the worse date killer you could possibly have when it comes to quick sex.

One of the things that became waterlogged was my current personal journal, which I would gladly throw away if it wasn’t for the other entries already there.

Now I have to get used to the idea of writing online….




Been some interesting times these past few months.  In the score of one month I lost two close friends, one of them my best friend.

Sad really.

Because if I were a completely logical being I would and have agreed with them.

And there is spiritual and sexual, and the fact they can not live my, I must.

They don’t know it, but I will let you in on a secret: I couldn’t live with their ideas about how to properly deal with the murder of Mr. George Floyd and the rest the news whatever side you are on.

No, they are not Trumpers anymore than I am, but their advice about living life and being happy was ok, but did nothing with the rage and yes hatred for all things American, because a man in 2020 could commit murder on video, but yet go free.

How can I be happy if I could die being myself.

Being black?

I miss them.

I saw them today when I went out for something oriental for dinner.

But we spoke little.


When I look at humanity, I see a depreciating worthlessness.

People should not be more valued than another person.

And yet that is not the world we live in, and makes me sick daily.  I have disowned humanity, and if I ever found a way to destroy humanity, I would.

It’s very simple logic really: if there is continuing inequality then humanity should die and make room for some other species to evolve.

Racism, economic and cultural inequality has turned me into a darker version of myself.

So, should I focus energy to the destruction of humanity?


I wonder how many men can say they are happy to have two ex-wives they can call friends.

I consider myself lucky, and only wished I could have been a better husband to either of them.

Guys, even if the relationship crashes, don’t make mates, (female or male) your enemy.  I consider it a waste of time, bad emotions and undermining your ability to love.

Would I get married again?
Saying I would never marry a woman again seems to open that door so I will leave it as a question mark.

Good Patriots

Good Patriots gunnin’ down civilians,
Civilians run for cover, cowards unarmed wondering how
they became the Enemy….

….gun shots as people hide in closets too small to hide,
shots through the door and
people die….

Shooter with your AR-15 who are you shootin’ at?

The ducks are on Lake_Trumpitouie waiting for your campfire.

Why you shootin’ these people,
If you hate us that much become a Vogon and leave planet earth.


How do a person deal with hatred? Specifically those of a race that seeks to continue the status of people of color as a underclass, maybe even slavery?

I used to spend my time writing poetry and prose to express myself sexually and spiritually, but now I spend most of the time fighting racism, trumpism and poverty on Twitter.

Which I consider a waste of time and a failure of humanity.

But since I’m still alive and actually value concepts like civil liberties and free will, I have little choice but to fight.  But in speaking out, I sometimes find myself powerless to help my society change for the better.

I don’t know, I could be in a temporal feedback loop and that’s why I can’t write the poetry of my heart and spirit.


I will continue to try and try again though.