I always thought of myself as a positive person.
This year, however, I’m caught up  in a civil war of my spirit.

I don’t like what I have become,
     Some hateful monster that has given up on humanity because they lack the compassion and common sense to treat people equally with love and respect.

I have prayed for the demise of caucasians, then the demise of the human race.

But this is not me.

Will I regain who I once was?


That Eugene Hardy is dead and gone, may he rest in peace.

I can only let go of my negativity turns all people and focus on my soul, not for humanity’s sake but for myself.

I have disavowed humanity’s concepts of God and have made myself my own Goddess, (I’m a sexual/spiritual freak).

So I focus on my well being and prosperity, and for now, let humanity be.

I am….

A sex starved mystic, whore
and spirituality of One.

I am the Tao.

I am the Source
Of everything from
The center of the Milky Way to
My here and Now.

Sexual energies ebb
and flow, I am worker
of Energies, working  for
my prosperity 

and a more sexual, spiritually fulfilling


For my humility and

so this shall be.


What do you do when you never want to fit in a society?

In this day of globalization and technology, all people should be more accepting of different people and ideas. As individuals this should be more so.

But I don’t see that with most people and frankly I’m fed up, but what else is a whore supposed to do?

It’s a question about sex, (and spirituality and how I walk in life).

I’m a self styled whore and that’s by choice. I don’t expect most to agree with me because I hold a contrary position.

This is how I function as a human:

You get an invitation to go to a sex party, but say no because someone else has your interest, that’s cool I dig that.

And yet, there is nothing wrong with going to that sex party and letting it all hang out, while thinking about that same special person.

There is nothing wrong with going to a sex party, as long as you are open and honest about your choice.

Perhaps going to the sex party reminds you of your sweet heart, making you long for that person, perhaps not.

I do know that honesty is the best policy, for yourself and those you would call friends. Honesty is a good policy, and not that bad if you love lying or spinning tales.

But, I have had to lie when I was younger and sometimes even today. Sad but true.

Yeah I know. I used to lie about the sex party question until I looked at my unhappiness. I was feeling false and untrue, which is a mostly worthless feeling.

I don’t have much value for Western ideas or values, and the rest of the history and morals of humanity have proven to be equally bad.

My honesty may hurt.

Which brings me back to honesty.


What’s wrong with orgies?

I mean, I never see or hear people talk about orgies, or see products in the box stores supporting its culture.

For that matter, why don’t people talk about sex?

I’m convinced that the society I live in is far too puritanical for my taste.

When it comes to sex, some parts of the United States are ok in attitude, and others live in the age of Abraham, (yeah Alabama, I’m talking to you….)

I think that if this current state of affairs continues, there won’t be any people to date and have sex with.

And not having orgies will be the least of my problems.


Question: Is there such a thing as a happy addict?

I have always claimed to be one concerning sex. I don’t think I can say or believe that now, since I’m in the realm of sex, spirit and my setting off on path of sexuality better off not taken.

And no, I can’t say that I have ‘won’ against anything because I’m still living the moment I find myself in. I’m enjoying myself, but know that addiction is in and of itself a ‘wrong path’ if we are talking about objectivity and rationality, the ability to know truth backed up by the facts.

I don’t have that, or rather my mind and psyche seems to be ignoring all that stuff.

So what I have left is synchronicity or ‘flow’ and my blind need for sex and companionship, (sex as I observe it is so taboo that it looses its sacredness in religious dogma).

And in doing so create my dogna…

So, Am I any better than religions?

Nope, dogma isn’t any different no matter who preaches it.

And I need to get better at living a moment at a time.


I hate white supremacy, (but does hate solve anything?) It’s not only a human rights violation, but a cancer that affects everyone. It’s created feelings of genocide, that a whole race of people should die for the injustices created by a few.

It must die, or the entire human races dies. I consider this the fault of Christianity, the originator of this kind of hatred.

Maybe humanity does not deserve existence, but I will be free of hate.

So much so, that I have disowned humanity, to be freed of it’s ignorance.

Is that simple?