02.25.2020

I hate white supremacy, (but does hate solve anything?) It’s not only a human rights violation, but a cancer that affects everyone. It’s created feelings of genocide, that a whole race of people should die for the injustices created by a few.

It must die, or the entire human races dies. I consider this the fault of Christianity, the originator of this kind of hatred.

Maybe humanity does not deserve existence, but I will be free of hate.

So much so, that I have disowned humanity, to be freed of it’s ignorance.

Is that simple?

…. people

One night,

some bastard cut out heart. He sat at my kitchen table, smoking a cigarette.

Everytime he finished smokin’, he’d used my heart as his ashtray….

Don’t weep for me.

I cried and moaned, tellin’ myself it was ok while he thrusted into me, knowin’ I was lying.

But I’m still here.

People roaming in their feces, digging through garbage,

people in the White House without their white sheets writin’ law,

people dying and running so they don’t get raped or forced to fight a war they don’t want,

people banning abortion ala, what was that movie?

But we are still here.

Martial Music

(First published on the Stone Temple blog, 12.22.2016)

I hear the music,
it gets lauder everyday….

In my dreams,
In the beginning,
I was chased, beaten and
killed,
always in fear.

Afraid of the Dark….

The day I awakened
was after my father killed me,
throwing me off a plane
ten thousand feet high….

(Thank you Dad!)

Then my fears ran from my cruelty and
enemies cowarded before me.

I was a supreme despot
and sorcerer,
I laid waste to all the world….
….until I came upon that
black, damned Fortress in the Darkness.

To better know Myself
in kindness and mindfulness,
I laid down my arms
and shed my robes.

And became
a train reck,
a chaotic dream world
in grays.

But the music plays,
boots echols
off buildings
from marching soldiers.

I find myself
druming my fingers,
tapping my feet,
humming.

Hearin’ the call to
Glory….

01.14.2020

Well, very soon I will rent a room from a friend, which will officially end my homelessness in San Diego. Still waiting on a few things, but all in all looking good.

But I’m I still in the Abyss?

To answer that, you would have to understand what the ‘Abyss’ is to me. When I wrote about the Abyss on my Stone Temple blog, I was talking about my homelessness. But as I lived out a year in San Diego, I realizd I was talking about the state of humankind in general.

And the state of my mind….

And man, we are in a sorry state.

In fact, I think life will only get worse for more people and I wish I didn’t believe that.

I cannot solve the world’s problems, but I believe I can at least provide some positive thought.

Just thought I’d share some good news, take care!

01.06.2020

I often wonder why I’m here, why I exist in this reality.

I see racism everywhere, with that racism reflected in US policies of this Republican administration. But, I’m I here to watch and bare witness the hatred of white people, or am I here to fight it.

(Sorry, don’t believe I’m here to become anyone’s slave).

Everytime the president of the United States of America speaks words of racial hatred falls from his lips, and his followers blindly hate with him.

Watching the racism helps in creating my own unpleasant thoughts of white people and Christians, and that I can imagine both groups exploding in flames and disappearing forever.

But from my spiritual vantage point, not only would I be racist but genocidal. So I’ve decided to go with kindness, even if there are dark spots on my heart from the racism of others.

I only hope I can stay that way.

12.27.2019

Really, I’m something of a sexual amoeba, some kind of sex gland that needs stimulation, even if it’s ‘not real’ to normal society.

What else am I to do?

The ‘facts’ of normal reality don’t fit, as a Westerner from Chicago and Detroit, that’s a very big leap from there to where I am now: rewrite the rules and apply what feels right, without falling deeper into the Abyss….

But there are no men that fit the criteria I need, nor I’m I more trusting of women of late.

But a sex gland don’t care….

Hmm….”a sex gland doesn’t care….”?

maybe I can feed it all the coal on the planet, so it can cum out as clean sexual energy….

Well, at the very least I’ll help save the planet 😉….

12.25.2019

sex gone down hill.

it’s not enough to be an atheist or
Christian when I disagree with it’s history:

its knowing my dreams and the spirits I’ve seen,
the questions still remains,

the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of creation,
‘is there life out there?’
‘I’m the only one in existence?’
and if so, there won’t be any
cross species mating rituals.

humankind: most boring sex object in the Universes.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

12.12.2019

Once you know reality to be unreal, the weird truly happens.

You begin to see the currents flow in and out of your life, (but they’re still there, you just stopped seeing them).

You feel it as a tingling energy, a promise of organism, if you could just reach it, you know you can feel the heat of it’s true fire, and know orgasm forever.

In the now, in the here after.

I had my first dream organism at the age of seventeen.

It frightened me.

And I screamed.

But Goddess it felt 😍….

It is darkness itself, and I feared it….

…. until I learned how to stand, and darkness wasn’t there anymore….

I begun to understand that the darkness was literally nothing, or the shadow of currents I can’t see.

An Interesting Day

Any day you are alive, is a good day.

I try not to believe in “bad” days, and instead call them “interesting”, because if I’m alive I can look at the silver linings of the clouds, and admire the beauty of life.

And if you’re dead it’s over, no worries!

You get to know the true meaning of life, and therefore have nothing to fear….