I really should read more
Gandhi, or King.
But I don’t follow people.
Another lifetime I would have ruled,
on a throne or powerful desk.
Don’t want followers,
How would I know if they owned their own minds or spirit?
Na, rather be alone in my wanderings.
Is this good for humanity?
Likely not, but I am unattached,
I am free….
The last thing
I remembered was
Having drinks with friends….
And then next was
going down on the mayor,
With the city council running train on
Me.
I socked him in his jewels and ran.
….been a week since then,
holed up at McCluchen’s barn,
cleaning and washing my clothes and
taking bathes in the back.
And the news,
how Alabama has fallen,
And it’s Citizen against citizens
In the States.
I was a mid-corporate banker,
Republican for four generations
and love my wife.
How did I become
a zombie on my knees?
I do not know who
I am….
Down stairs,
I ripped apart pool tables
to board up the doors and widows.
I cut down with an the nearest cell tower, and cleared the block of cells, destroying them.
The zombies carry pieces of scripture pinned to their heads as they hump.
Is it in the water they drink?
Or poisoned microwaves that affect zombie hearts, killin’ fairness,
it’s given them blackened eyes?
Look into them,
you become lust incarnate,
forevermore….
I have been reading an ebook about must and should, and come the conclusion that I’m on a journey, (but that has always been true, but different reasons. I never thought that all my knowledge and wisdom may need to be woven into one life, (one way, my path), a practice.
It will be a ugly looking thing, but can sow.
The sex zombies
have started humping trees and utility polls along Southern Boulevard, the streets overrunning with them.
I actually saw zombies humping
a Corvette, thinking the lines on the pickups too conservative.
Behind a gas station hidden from the highway,
Folks gangbang each other with empty pale eyes, men and women, wanting the receiving,
all while they empty themselves of gray matter.
All the prostitutes left a week ago.
I love Women….
But I don’t want an ugly woman
who would betray me, or try to convert me
to a faith
I despise.
I love Men….
Been messin’
with men since 17,
or 8, if you count childhood.
But I don’t do well with men.
The sex is great and
I always want more,
I know I will be moving on.
I’m a whore
looking for
his holy grail,
even if it comes
with it’s own
Empty bed.
09.17.2020
Trying a few different things, and being more open, It would be something akin to a slow motion strip tease of my soul. But, at the very least, I feel freer for it.
I have made some changes in my life, not all of it positive, but living life anyway. I hope I haven’t disturbed anyone too much, and that I hope everyone enjoys my writing.
If I post this right, I will have my new site up and running by the end of this month, 9.30.2020.
And thanks for all your support.
Today is my quit day, the day I restart my life with a few less habits. I’ve done this so many times it’s it’s own holiday that reappears every other month. It’s a day that I quit smoking cigarettes and attempt to dump other habits in exchange for different habits, like changing a set of clothes for another.
I try not to look at any habit judgementally, because I’m not a classist or trust the word bad or wrong.
I use to do that, judging cigarettes as bad and wrong. I used to be such an anti-cigarettes person I would go to another room or outside to avoid the smoke, then some odd 20 years later I’m trying to use cigarettes as bait in Piedmont Park in Atlanta to attract guys.
I hate cigarettes even more now, because I desire to do something else – to run, to run like a damn gazelle again.
And did just that today, only it was more like a walk than a run, but it felt good.
Today is also the day I let go of sex.
Now, I love sex, (dang! It’s like my spirituality!), I don’t have the right person(s) to practice it with.
The sex thing makes me horny and lonely, which is not good emotionally.
The thing is, part of problem has been dealing with the voids these habits leave behind, so I’m trying something more enriching, running and trading stocks.
I’m hoping this works, I need a new direction in my life.
Cosmos looked at Her lab experiment and sighed.
She didn’t know why Her third planet kept getting out of balance, it’s acidity growing and the temperature rising.
She knew She hadn’t paid much attention to it since removing the dinosaurs, then afterwards rebalanced the land and the sea.
Putting Her presence their, She saw humans had appeared and were eating all the woolly mammoths, throwing off the planet’s ph.
Its hard making reality, because as Goddess She had to abided by free will and sentience, so She decided She really didn’t need the mammoths anyway.
She decides to visit the humans because She was horny and hadn’t had sex in thousands of years, and lived among the humans at orgies.
But after ten thousand years She left, because the humans kept falling to their knees to worship Her, while some attacked Her and some of Her friends.
Saddened, She looked on as an onlooker at an automobile accident who could do nothing.
And She sat and watched, until men were trying to remove Roe vs. Wade…..
Now She was pissed.
Despite my relatively good life, it’s hard sometimes. Like over hearing Trumpers talk about the protests in Portland. The words I hear are the words ‘riots’, but never the word’protests’.
I can only think of this as a kind of self delusion, a lie to the self to justify individual biases.
It reminds me of the book burnings of Nazi Germany, where there you denied reality, and humanity, just to stay alive, or wind up in a labor or death camp alongside the Jews you defended, or shot.
But here, I think it will be worse, because there will be more people to kill or incarcerate.
It will be worse, because in order to believe the propaganda, you will likely have to sell your soul and abandon the word: truth.
…..you
fear
prenatal healthcare and
abortion clinics,banning abortions outright….
the glass ceiling you
created now has cracks.
No worries though,
I’m sure Jesus himself will bar your way before those pearly gates….
May you have
a nice, warm time….
Life Raft In The Abyss 