10.31.2019

I was thinking some things over, trying not to pay attention to politics, because there are other issues in our world that concerns me.

I think about our global refugee crisis, how it seems to be a growing trend among nations, especially the ones that call themselves “free” refusing refuge, or the need for “certain men” to control the wombs of women.

I mean, I don’t get it.

Why should a guy chilling with ice cream in front of the tele worry about being shot in his apartment by a police officer when he is a law abiding citizen?

I used to think it was a race thing, then I thought, if you removed color from the equation, it’s still an alarming trend of maltreatment of the worse kind. I thought humanity had grown enough to not excuse this behavior.

I thought our values concerning human life were greater than that, what ever the circumstances.

I don’t think I’m a perfect example of a life, but even I can see that ideology and religion has to much influence in our societies….

Naw,the truth is that I don’t get enough sex….

Things would appear to me better if I had the right sex partners, I could could see a better world, things in this world would look better….

Nope, still looks a little shitting from here.
But I will take as much sex as I can get.

Hmm, but do I exist for it?
The sex I mean.

Don’t get me lying, sometimes I do.
But lately, some of that sex gets empty and stale.

And sometimes lonely…

Odd Poker….

Woke up
and fell out of bed,
pored a mug of coffee
and walked into the living
room

And there sat four elephants playin’ poker….

I looked closer as I sipped my coffee.

I recognized these guys, and walked closer.

They were busy shuffling their cards.

“Mr. Hardy, won’t you sit down?” said Technological Singlarity. “We’ve saved you a seat”, said White Supremacy, the only white elephant in the room. “Naw,” said Income Inequality, “he’s like the rest of them,” echoed by his twin brother, Poverty.

I sipped my coffee, because I didn’t know what to do. The room was crowded, but no one noticed them, and the well to do walked right through them while texting.

I knew, though that these fuckers had to be opposed.

“Five card stub, Jokers are wild”, put down my coffee, and picked up a glass of brandy….

Why have all the whores gone?

Why have all sexy whores gone? Have they aged away to some fairytale?

The bars are empty of them, only polite folks there,
(football plays on the tele,
all of them fans with good
cheer….)

At night,
there are no shaded lamps in the windows

And nights
have grown colder.

Sex, no longer in schools
because they put saltpeter in
the food with a side of
shock therapy.

(but there are bloodied wire
hangers in back alleys)

Sex, sterile, lacking life, lacking soul, procreation only please.

Rumor has they all went to….Vegas?

10.21.2019

So happy I have full-time employment now. It’s been three weeks since taking this temp assignment and already the cash has made a difference. I’ll be able to save enough to move out of the shelter and into my own apartment. My goal is to do this in two months and a week from now.

But where should I live?

The best economic solution would be to live in Mexico, where apartments are going for as low as $250.00 for a one bedroom. So I can work in San Diego and live in Tijuana, Mexico. Culturally though, this may not work because of bad foreign policy on the part of the administration in Washington DC., and crime worries me. But there is crime in San Diego too I am told, so what would be the difference?

Is this what we’ll become?

People wonder aimlessly, or sit in doorways and back alleys doing their thing….

They hang near their old jobs, chutters closed. An out of work dishwasher, selling books to buy a drink.

I walk by in my finery, asking why the dispossesed didn’t see the coming of the singlerity, why they’re poor, the deprivation holding them in filthy arms.

Looking down on them high in my glass towers why should I care!

From my glass towers, I above the…..

The lawyer, who was my neighbor, he was too slow. Now a computer does his job. Or the accountants, fighting with the truck drivers over the garbage, rotting bananas everywhere, until the automatic street cleaners, flushes them all alway.

The good people now come out and play….

But there are people left….

10.18.2019

Good morning everyone!

Saw a fascinating YouTube video by Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell about the afterlife and existence. Check it out: The Egg

It made me think of how humanity is so intimately linked to each other. But if true, why is it so hard to find a decent spiritual hook up or date?

I also figured out that I’m doomed to writing, and that I will likely never live off the earnings.

I’m a writer, and that’s all there is to it.

Some further good news, I found a full time job, and with diligent saving I can afford to get an apartment here in San Diego, (ah, the thought of eventually being able to freak, meditate and pray with more privacy, and make as much coffee as I’d like, and cook my own food!).

Or at the very least, pay my way to get back home in Detroit, or a city in the US with low cost housing verses a decent income. I don’t know, I may have to relocate to Mexico to do that.

What do you think?

Will no one drink wine with me?

At my table, there are other chairs seated by my imagery friends,

Who say how great a lover I am, while I deal another hand of Solitaire.

Men and women walk by, of various levels of sexual promise, but I’ve no ruler to measure them, so I continue to drink alone.

I’m looking for a conversation that talk of magic and dreams, or a twinkle in their “I”.

I long for sex, but no one drinks my coffee or wine.

Such a lonely life….

9.28.2019

I have a dream of one day being able to earn income from my poetry, never having to work for someone again. That dream, however, has not come true.  But then, some things are worth doing, even if you have to pay to do them.

So I write poetry, just because.

Sex, though, is a different kettle of fish.

It seems to me that the more you do it, the more you are chasing that powerful orgasm, that equals the last great one you had many eons ago.  For me, that would be around age 18 years old, (it was also my first threesome).  I like to think that I have evolved some, that I chase sex for spiritual-sexual connection with other human beings.

But all around me, are men looking to just get off or love, (or addiction to sex, my primary favorite).  Far too little spirituality.

And although I haven’t been with a woman in more than ten years, there is almost no magic there too.

So, should I become celibate for the lack of sexual-spiritual partners?

I think I will have to, channeling sexual-spiritual energy somewhere else.

 

But first, I must change the illusion that I need sex to live.